Help! after my ex b/f and broke up I found out I was pregnant but I gave him the new I had a miscarrage?

we were dating on and off for two years...over the holidays I was mad at him for not spending enough time with me since it was also my birthday...I took a friends advice that when he calls me not to tell him why I was upset & instead I told him to figure out why I was upset with him, so he hung up and never called me. Ten days later it was new years eve I called & we talked again, he told me that he treated me extremely well all the time that he could not thing of a single reason why I was mad at him. We made up but this time he was distant & never said anything like he used to. Two weeks after we made up he called & broke wtih me saying that ever since he came back from the war in Irag he was not the same man anymore & that He does weird corky things for that reason. 3 weeks after we broke up he texts me wanting to come over my house & when I asked why he replied "no reason". At that point I had just found I was pregnant with his child & was so heart broken...I did not believe the nerve he had to text for a call & i am crying my self to sleep every night because of him so I told to go to hell. A couple of weeks later I text that I was pregnant & he replied days later telling me that we needed to set a time to talk. The day I was supposed to meet him I had a miscarriage... at that point things could not get any worth but they did. So I never told him about the miscarriage and met him a couple weeks later & showed him a copy of my blood work from my Doctor showing that I was pregnant. And to my big surprise He told me that he had a Vasectomy which I know for sure because he wanted me on birth control so I wont get pregnant. at that moment I was in shock & in tears I did not say anything to him Except that he is even a lesser of a man that I thought he was.. My friend kept telling that he was a jerk & he never wanted me or would he ever had accepted the baby & I guess I wanted to find out if he really is like that...I still love him but I never did tell him that and I know weather to contact him and I him the truth or not...everyone tells me that I should hate but I cant we all make mistakes... its been 5 months since we talked and I miss him everyday..